Babyshower! A letter for Jenya
By Victoria As-it-Seams - 15:11
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Jenya is just the sweetest blogging friend. We stumbled upon each others blogs about two years ago, when we were both just starting out on this online adventure.
Since then she's been a wonderful online companion. Not only is her sewing impeccable, but she's also funny and friendly, makes me laugh and keeps me going when I've lost my sewjo....
Which is why when Renee of the Nearest the Pin and Alisa of A Stitch in Between
And then....oops....
I don't know what happened to June. It disappeared in a flash. And I had a few other sewing commitments, and the summer weekends have all been busy, and before I knew it I had missed the deadline for Jenya's Online baby shower....
So instead Dear Jenya, all I can offer is a few thoughts on the imminent arrival of Baby Number two - some transglobal wishes and love for your growing family...
Here goes....
Dear Jenya
When Missy was born, my son was four, I guess a similar age to your sweet Little Monkey. I'd had four years as his constant companion, he filled my soul, made my heart leap and my world fresh.
I was so busy with him and everything, that my pregnancy with Missy whizzed by...then she arrived with such speed and ease that she shocked us all. (Note to Jenya, second babies can be quick - don't delay in calling the midwife!)
And then all of a sudden there were two little people making my heart leap and I didn't know where to turn. I couldn't be my son's constant companion any more. He would ask me to play, and I'd be feeding the baby, or cooking dinner, or cleaning the kitchen.
And here's the strange thing, I adored my little girl, this funny dark-haired tiny baby. Because when you have a four year old, you really HAVE FORGOTTEN what a tiny baby is like. And then suddenly it's like DOH! I remember this now! Those sleepness nights, that little head nestling on the shoulder...
But, yes just as I adored my little girl, I also felt sad. I missed my boy. I couldn't be with him like I used to be, and I tried, but somehow I always felt like I was not in the right place, like there wasn't enough of me to go round.
My midwife explained it all to me. She said when you have one child your family is like a triangle, now you are a square and everyone has to readjust to their new position.
So it took a bit of pulling and tugging to make that triangle a square.
It was a tiring time, but also it was all ok too.
And there were the many moments when I could see that my son was finding his place in that square, perhaps ahead of me.
And now, Missy follows him and adores him. They argue, and chat, but they also play at Roman Soldiers, at Harry Potter, at being animals together. They've learnt how to make this square be strong.
I remember him watching his sister trying to walk, aged 13 months.
"Come on Missy!" he called. "If you can walk, you can dance!"
And you know, that's how it's been. A funny old dance. It took a while for us all to learn the steps, and we're still learning. To learn how to make a dance for four people, when once it had been three, and before that just two, and even how to make room to be yourself in that four-cornered square.
But we've found our rhythm. It may have involved a year (or two) of at least one of us not waking up in the same bed that they went to sleep in. And it may now mean that I dream of the day when ALL the clean washing is put away, and there isn't a pile of laundry that needs to be SOMEWHERE ELSE.
But I can live with that.
And it is such a joy to welcome a new little person into the world. There is nothing bigger, better, or more exciting.
I'm massively excited for you Jenya and your family, and honestly I fully intend to get sewing to welcome new baby little monkey very soon!
Victoria xxxx
Now some of my sewing friends have been much more organised than me, and have managed to sew something for Jenya's baby. Hop around the blogs to take a look...
Naeh Connection- A softie
Straightgrain-Doll's Lua sleepsack
Siskobymieke- Baby Jacket
Threading My Way - Baby Wash Cloth+fabric basket
Lil' Pip Designs - Boobook owl taggy toy Sew Delicious- travel nappy pouch
Things For Boys -Mega bibs
Sewpony - A softie
Made By Sara- Baby fabric toys
Sew n Sow- Baby Hat
Nearest the Pin- Leather Baby Shoes
Posts
9 comments
What a great blogpost Victoria! Loved every single word!
ReplyDeleteVery well said! Excellent post Victoria and your right Jenya's the best! I also started reading her blog when I first started sewing and the stories she would tell about little monkey would absolutely crack you up. That was just at two years ago. Wow, time does go by quickly.
ReplyDeleteHow beautiful, I can relate to so many of those feelings when 3 becomes 4.
ReplyDeleteOh, the triangle to square analogy is great - I wish I'd had your midwife, she is a very wise lady. I still feel torn between giving both my kids the attention they need - how does it go with more than tow I wonder? Thanks so much for joining is Victoria :)
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful post, definitely full of wisdom ;) I know I loved my son so deeply and fully, I couldn't imagine how I could love anyone else just as much and when A was born, I couldn't believe that instead of splitting my love in two, the feelings multiplied. We also have adjusted into a square and I think for the most part everyone has found their spot, but it all gets jumbled up every ones in awhile. So.. when everyone settles, it will be a time to introduce a third one? :) Thank you so much for joining us in our party, I loved reading your post.
ReplyDeleteLovely post Victoria. So meaningful.
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful letter, thank you for sharing this words
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your journey Victoria. R will be five, or just about to turn five, when the new bub arrives. In fact, there is a good chance my little monkeys may share a birthday! I feel that on one hand it is a great age difference as R is very much aware of what is going on and is getting very excited and also impatient. She keeps on saying, "Is our baby born yet? No? Oh waiting is so boring!" On the other hand her and I have been each other's shadows for nearly five years. We know each other so well and we enjoy each other's company. Every morning I would ask R, 'What would you like to do today", and every time she would reply, "Play cars with you". Every. Single. Day. I do feel anxious about transforming our triangle into a square and how R will adjust. I know she will be fine, and we will all manage, but we are about to step into the unknown, and it is a little bit scary! OK, scary a lot. Ok, I am totally freaking out here haha So I am grateful to have friends like yourself Victoria that I know I can turn to for an advice or for a listening ear. I will keep in mind second babies tend to arrive quicker. I hope they are also nicer to their mummies in the process! Please don't tell me if they are not haha
ReplyDeleteA lovely letter, Victoria and a wise midwife with the triangle to square comment.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for taking the time to comment. I love hearing from you, and try to reply as often as I can, either here or by email. All views, tips, gratefully received...
Victoria